Post by oldmuckers on Feb 16, 2014 22:33:39 GMT
Rushing Back
The album’s blockbusting opener featuring towering guitar riffs and a piano driven chorus. A call to arms for the new album era that brings the fans back to… an old album era. Very Rush of Blood to the Head in both sound and theme as Martin sings, “We tried to go with Eno but now that time has past… someone call Ken Nelson and someone call him fast.”
Falling Down
A completely unnecessary 30 second synth intro to Try Again that is mostly there just to mess things up when you have your ipod on shuffle.
Try Again
In a bold lyrical move Chris Martin actually works the line “Oops, we f---ed that one all up… we’re going to have to try again” into an actual song‘s chorus. Expect many loud cheers this upcoming tour as they mess up and restart this song over and over again at every show!
Words Are Not Enough
A swelling ballad serving as an apology for the previous album’s Rihanna collaboration Princess of China. “Words are not enough…” Martin croons over a lone piano, “… so I have written you this song. No one on this album… has ever worn a thong.” Destined to be a cell phones in the air concert classic.
Out Of Breath
An acoustic number written especially for that part in the show where the band has just run from the front of the arena to the back for the three song in the crowd set. Usually out of breath for this first song the band realized it would make sense just to record it that way as well. Breathing heavily Chris sighs, “We’re not up there anymore… we’re out here in the crowd… sorry for this first song… it won’t be very loud.” The ten or so people lucky enough to be around them as they play it are going to love it.
Time To Fly (ft. Phil Harvey)
For the first time ever much loved fifth Coldplay member Phil Harvey not only appears on an album track but also contributes the lead vocal. “I’m the man behind the curtain… but I’ve torn that curtain down… X&Y was a disaster… because I was not around” Phil sings over a crunchy bass line, “More buff than Will… more handsome then Guy… they kept me in the shadows but now its time to fly.”
Better Days
In a sweet nod to the fans that feel that all of the band’s old stuff was better Chris sings some of the band’s classic song titles over beautiful strings all along asking, “wasn’t that one good?” “Clocks… Yellow… The Scientist… wasn’t that one good?” Sure to bring tears to the masses.
Strummy Strummy / Jam Jam
Killing two album birds with one stone the band have decided to connect both the obligatory acoustic guitar ballad and the obligatory strange sonic jam song into one epic track. Think Green Eyes or Us Against the World mashed up with A Whisper or Chinese Sleep Chant. “These are the songs people skip the most” Will said in a recent interview, “so we just put them together on one track to make it easier for them.”
Red Sea
Another song checking a few boxes off the album checklist… Red Sea gives the band a song with a color in the title but also gives them that always needed Biblical reference as a metaphor for love as well! “I’d part the Red Sea … just to get to you… spend forty years in the desert… there is nothing I won’t do.”
Back In Black
An all out rocker in which the band takes out their frustrations regarding picking this era’s costumes. In a call and response chorus Chris exchanges ideas with the band, “How about neon… we already did that. How about uniforms… we already did that. How about just black… that sounds good!” “We already had one song with a color in the title but Phil thought that this one was just too good to pass up” Jonny recently told reporters.
Never To Be Heard
In a move sure to anger fans tired of seeing songs like Famous Old Painters and Car Kids in album art work but never hearing them the band has actually included a song in the track listing that is not even on the album. “Never To Be Heard is the best song we have ever written” Chris told reporters, “ that is why we left it off.”
Let It Show
A heart warming plea written by Will in regards to Jonny taking off his hat and embracing his balding once and for all. A tender chorus reassures the guitarist , “Your hair may be leaving, but your friends are still here.” This one was written at the last minute and probably should not have made the album but the band was really excited about it so they took off Never To Be Heard to include it.
A Window Has Two Sides
Another unnecessary intro that was included because Chris really liked the sound of a title but couldn’t write a song to go along with it. It is 45 seconds of strings that is going to be someone’s favorite song before the album comes out based entirely on the title and then is going to be really disappointing when they hear it’s only an instrumental.
Time To Say Good Bye (See You In Three Years)
Getting a jump start on his usual press tour rhetoric Chris Martin already begins claiming that this could be the band’s last album in this sweeping closing epic. “We won’t do any better… we might not even try… we all are pushing forty now… it’s time to say good bye.”
The album’s blockbusting opener featuring towering guitar riffs and a piano driven chorus. A call to arms for the new album era that brings the fans back to… an old album era. Very Rush of Blood to the Head in both sound and theme as Martin sings, “We tried to go with Eno but now that time has past… someone call Ken Nelson and someone call him fast.”
Falling Down
A completely unnecessary 30 second synth intro to Try Again that is mostly there just to mess things up when you have your ipod on shuffle.
Try Again
In a bold lyrical move Chris Martin actually works the line “Oops, we f---ed that one all up… we’re going to have to try again” into an actual song‘s chorus. Expect many loud cheers this upcoming tour as they mess up and restart this song over and over again at every show!
Words Are Not Enough
A swelling ballad serving as an apology for the previous album’s Rihanna collaboration Princess of China. “Words are not enough…” Martin croons over a lone piano, “… so I have written you this song. No one on this album… has ever worn a thong.” Destined to be a cell phones in the air concert classic.
Out Of Breath
An acoustic number written especially for that part in the show where the band has just run from the front of the arena to the back for the three song in the crowd set. Usually out of breath for this first song the band realized it would make sense just to record it that way as well. Breathing heavily Chris sighs, “We’re not up there anymore… we’re out here in the crowd… sorry for this first song… it won’t be very loud.” The ten or so people lucky enough to be around them as they play it are going to love it.
Time To Fly (ft. Phil Harvey)
For the first time ever much loved fifth Coldplay member Phil Harvey not only appears on an album track but also contributes the lead vocal. “I’m the man behind the curtain… but I’ve torn that curtain down… X&Y was a disaster… because I was not around” Phil sings over a crunchy bass line, “More buff than Will… more handsome then Guy… they kept me in the shadows but now its time to fly.”
Better Days
In a sweet nod to the fans that feel that all of the band’s old stuff was better Chris sings some of the band’s classic song titles over beautiful strings all along asking, “wasn’t that one good?” “Clocks… Yellow… The Scientist… wasn’t that one good?” Sure to bring tears to the masses.
Strummy Strummy / Jam Jam
Killing two album birds with one stone the band have decided to connect both the obligatory acoustic guitar ballad and the obligatory strange sonic jam song into one epic track. Think Green Eyes or Us Against the World mashed up with A Whisper or Chinese Sleep Chant. “These are the songs people skip the most” Will said in a recent interview, “so we just put them together on one track to make it easier for them.”
Red Sea
Another song checking a few boxes off the album checklist… Red Sea gives the band a song with a color in the title but also gives them that always needed Biblical reference as a metaphor for love as well! “I’d part the Red Sea … just to get to you… spend forty years in the desert… there is nothing I won’t do.”
Back In Black
An all out rocker in which the band takes out their frustrations regarding picking this era’s costumes. In a call and response chorus Chris exchanges ideas with the band, “How about neon… we already did that. How about uniforms… we already did that. How about just black… that sounds good!” “We already had one song with a color in the title but Phil thought that this one was just too good to pass up” Jonny recently told reporters.
Never To Be Heard
In a move sure to anger fans tired of seeing songs like Famous Old Painters and Car Kids in album art work but never hearing them the band has actually included a song in the track listing that is not even on the album. “Never To Be Heard is the best song we have ever written” Chris told reporters, “ that is why we left it off.”
Let It Show
A heart warming plea written by Will in regards to Jonny taking off his hat and embracing his balding once and for all. A tender chorus reassures the guitarist , “Your hair may be leaving, but your friends are still here.” This one was written at the last minute and probably should not have made the album but the band was really excited about it so they took off Never To Be Heard to include it.
A Window Has Two Sides
Another unnecessary intro that was included because Chris really liked the sound of a title but couldn’t write a song to go along with it. It is 45 seconds of strings that is going to be someone’s favorite song before the album comes out based entirely on the title and then is going to be really disappointing when they hear it’s only an instrumental.
Time To Say Good Bye (See You In Three Years)
Getting a jump start on his usual press tour rhetoric Chris Martin already begins claiming that this could be the band’s last album in this sweeping closing epic. “We won’t do any better… we might not even try… we all are pushing forty now… it’s time to say good bye.”
HAHAHAAAA!! 
