2014 - Your year... so far.

(Sorry if the pics are big)
This was my art room. This is where I use to do all of my art. It still looks like this. I've asked my mom so many times to clean it and she won't. I haven't been able to do any art since 2012. This is why my depression is getting worse. She also called me a hoarder even though most of the stuff I own is in my room and slightly in the garage and basement. And even less of the stuff in the house is my sister's. She keeps buying more. We have no room. Or money for things that we need. I've actually started to break down and cry because of it.

Winter, you seem so talented and so young. I'm not nearly either of those, but I have to say that money is not always the answer to parent/kid problems. If I were you, and not happy with my space as shown above, I would do something about it. Don't expect your mom to do it for you. I bet it would take no money but some time and energy to clean up your space and all your precious art materials and when done, you might be inspired to take on an even bigger project, or at the very least, be able to enjoy doing your art work in surroundings that express your personality and individuality. I know none of this is going to solve the more pressing problems, but I do believe that happiness begins at home - (but sometimes you have to make it happen). Play CP music, sort out what you don't need or what you DO need, and be proud that you are taking a positive step....you know what they say about long journeys, right? Blessings!

Ok, you need more than this forum to vent. Please, PLEASE, seek any outside help you can find - thru a church,
school, youth group, teacher, counselor, family services, etc. Each community has at least a few places to turn to which are free. Obviously there is much more at risk here than can be solved online. I'm glad you are able to let out your feelings, but you need to do that to someone who is within arm's length, older, and professional in some capacity, who can help or offer suggestions or maybe even intervene.
We'll all keep you in our hearts/minds, but you need to take a bigger step.
I hope you have the strength to do that.

Florian, how is your relationship with your father?

Isn't there a way in between? Maybe a few days with your dad. Gives you some are and space.
Unfortunally, at this point I know exactly how you feel.
My mum don't give a s**t about me and my brother. She is very selfish and actually used us the get things she wants. I lived for 16 years in a same kind of household like you. A lot of stuff. You couldn't see the floor. Unfortunally it wasn't all just stuff at our place, but also dirt. :S

My parents are divoced in 2001, when I was 16. Both of them are re-married. I get along with my dad, but he isn't a real father for me. I don't fit in the picture of the new family. He tries, but he always forgets. I don't speak to my mum anymore. Like I said, she is very selfish and thinks everything she does is the right way. It all exploded a few months before my wedding. She was only thinking about herself and didn't ask on one single moment how I was doing with the wedding or how I was going to do it. One day she said some ugly things and that was it for me. All those frustations, I couldn't handle it anymore. I said it before: since I am together with my husband (for 13 years now) we couldn't be really happy, because there were always things going on. Main reason of that are my parents.

I've been kicked out of my home when I was 16. I lived for two years by my grandmother. Never had a good relationship with my mum, so that couldn't be fixed, but the relationship with my dad got stronger. Although he isn't the dad that I would to have, I don't want to loose him.

So, with all this on my back, I am trying to advice you: try to create some distance between you and your mum. Maybe a few days with your dad every now and then will help. If that isn't possible, try to create some emotional space. That is the hardest thing to learn, but it can improve the relationship with your mother. I may have broken with my mother, because I don't see an other way, but I sure damn miss a mum. The mum I never had and never will have....

I understand what you're going through, Winter. My mom died when I was 17, I was left with my dad. He had mental illness and was also a hoarder. We had a very difficult time for awhile, we got thrown out of our apartment, then had to move into a house with people I didn't even know. We had no phone because he refused to pay his bill, if I wanted to talk to someone I had to walk down to the grocery store payphone and call them, then walk back. My dad would threaten to kill himself and then want me to talk him out of it, which I did. Finally, I could not take it anymore and moved out with my sister, even that was difficult. She was never that supportive and we would argue over the living situation. I cut off all ties with my dad, and then moved in with a roommate.

I understand the feeling of being stuck, and you seem to be stuck. The mess in a hoarder's house can cause such emotional pain, it's so much more than just a messy house.

The only thing I can advise to you would be try to hang out with your dad more, and in the meantime try to find a job. You would have money and feel productive and then maybe move out with someone you know or someone from an ad. Not all awful situations last, even though we may think that they do.

I wish you all the best with this. Just be carefull with making choices you could regret in the future.

And you saw it, there are some people who experienced the same kind of thing. So if you need someone to listen or some advice, just ask. We are here!